Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
I sent her a video on Snapchat of me cumming, with a Father's Day snap filter that said "#1 Dad".
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
Randomize
