Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
Just blew my age on the breathalyzer. I also have 8 stitches in my head. So worth a .22 though. All time record.
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
try to milk me bitch
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