I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
I just added a bunch of arbitrary options to my ouija board. Ghosts can now tell me "cheddar," "the homosexual agenda," "the whole foods vegan aisle," or "viable offspring"
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
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