i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
Shaving my legs with an ankle monitor on is surprisingly more difficult than the drunk driving that got me here
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
I'm so hungover that I just wrote up my will because I'm afraid I'm gonna die. I'm leaving you my bong.
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
Randomize
