When I'm drunk i like to pretend my penis is zeus and instead of peeing i'm throwing lightning bolts into the toilet...it helps me focus.
you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
Found someone cuddling with my Uggs this morning. Guess the hundred pillows laying next to him weren't good enough.
Randomize
