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ok, stay where you are, be there soon
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
I made him say "i realize i'm cheating on my girlfriend" five times aloud before i would hook up with him. Somehow that has to lessen my bad karma
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
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