I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
I know her cup size but not her name....
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
Randomize
