Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
Doing lines of coke with a $100 dollar bill off a 6in x 9in photo of your childhood self really tells you where you where you've gotten in life.
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
Had to immediately delete the Bevmo email because I can't even look at an email about alcohol right now.
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
I've decided it's okay if I take a pregnancy test every month. Then I can be like, "Good job, self, way to not procreate this month!"
Randomize
