I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
She looked at me and said there is a 90% chance I am going to puke in the next 10 minutes. 10 minutes later she is in jack in the box throwing up. She has amazing timing.
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
I just went on etsy and my personalized suggestions on the page were either kinky sex restraints or baby things. I feel like etsy just summarized my life.
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
Randomize
