my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
If you don't sing 'dust in the wind' at my funeral, I'll haunt you forever
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
Randomize
