Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
Just found out my mom tried to sue the birth control company when she got pregnant with me...love you too mom.
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
Randomize
