you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
And when he pulled me off the bathroom floor, he just looked at the cat litter stuck to my chin and said "oh sweetie" and shook his head. I think my dad's officially given up hope.
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
It's sad that I'm more proud of my Twitter account then my resume
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
just licked whipped cream off some model's nipple... just coming clean for when the pic gets on instagram because i am not untagging that shit
Randomize
