I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
I'm so baked, I spent the last hour trying to screencapture the cracks on my phone.
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
Randomize
