why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
In the past year, I've fucked 3 Dave's and you've fucked 2 Dave's. That's a lot of Dave's in our vaginas.
We need to start a soap opera called the Dave's of Our Lives.
Randomize
