lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
Randomize
