His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
Randomize
