if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
Also apparently I made a "cake sandwich"--yeah smashed a massive piece of cake between two slices of bread....fucking tequila
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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