Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
I'm texring you during a blow job. She thinks I'm looking shit up. Fml. Ftw.
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
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