I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
is there any particular reason you took a shit in a zip lock bag and left it in my refrigerator?
I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
Randomize
