Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
found the other keg... it's in the tree
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool.
Some rando guy literally just put my shoes on and tied them for me because I'm drunk... Is this what it feels like to be a princess?
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
Randomize
