Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
I AM SMARTER THAN EVERY FUCKBOY WHO HAS EVER SWIPED LEFT ON ME
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
Randomize
