1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
My vagina is officially offended.
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
Randomize
