So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
A stripper choked me last night. Then I choked her. Now we're going on a date this Saturday.
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
Randomize
