her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
Randomize
