She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
My dating life has become some fucked up hydra of dicks; you cut one off and two pop up in its place.
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
I just slammed a bottle of white wine before I came to Whole Foods so basically I'm just training to be a middle aged white woman.
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
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