Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
This is my gift to your gina
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
I spent last night dying strippers pubes green and landscaping shamrocks. That is why hands look like I squashed a leprechaun.
I need to start journaling my drunk thoughts. Drunk me is fucking brilliant & sober me is missing out.
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
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