I woke up at 5am and he was watching me sleep... Come get meee!!??
If i could tip my vagina, i would.
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
What do I have to do to get you laid? I talked to that girl with the ugly dog for 45 minutes trying to get you in, and all you said was "Steven Spielberg is my favorite director."
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
This is a friendly reminder to try not to shit on the toilet seat. If our 4 year old can manage it, I think you can too.
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
Randomize
