Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
Pretty sure I asked the person at the pharmacy counter in Walgreens to marry me last night. But also remember Rachel Maddow crawling through the TV screen, so my memory might be a bit compromised...
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
Right now I'm in a club where they are passing out glow in the dark dildos by the dozen. I don't think my life will ever get weirder than it is at this moment.
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
Just because you haven’t had your UTI yet doesn’t mean you have a right to talk like Yoda
Randomize
