Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!??
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
Randomize
