So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
If the people you’re with use the word tequila in a sentence with phrases like hair of the dog or breakfast of champions...run awsy
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