You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
Dude I got a text from you at 1:30 last night and you didn't use any vowels
Haha, I didn't want to buy any... we're in a recession you know
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
Randomize
