her vagine was all disorganized.
I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
Show him your tits if he says no
They're not help-me-out-of-jams tits. They're I-fake-people-into-thinking-they-look-good tits.
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
Randomize
