sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
Update: drank half a bottle of Bourbon and texted three ex's. Waiting for the roommates to go to sleep so I can raid the fridge.
Randomize
