Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
Randomize
