Me. At least after what I've been through.
Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
literally the only thing you kept saying was "i wish i had a beer keg vending machine that accepted hugs as payment" and everytime you said it you rubbed the urn her grandmother's remains were in
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
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