So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
She's the barista slut.
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
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