I'm at a work party and I don't know how to drink socially. You know, like slow?
Sometimes I get depressed that my son is too young to understand how hot his babysitter is.
Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
Randomize
