it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
So my mom wants to hear about my weekend. How do I make licking cupcake frosting off your face while high not sound like just that?
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
Randomize
