he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
Where are you, who is in my bed, why is he wearing a spandex onesie as underwear, how did i get teethmarks on my forehead, what are we doing tonight?
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
My black heart of coal cannot compete with your boiling crock pot of teddy bears, rainbows, 90s music, and the good candy you get from rich people on Halloween.
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
Randomize
