I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
You tried to put a condom on my dog, then he ate it.
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
Randomize
