You drew a lightning bolt on your eye and stomach in eye liner and made me sing Poker face with you in harmonies. I never knew you were still a music major when you were drunk.
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
Look, opening a Guinness with a steak knife and nearly cutting your finger off to make another carbomb is always a good idea.
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
Imma do four shots of whisky within two minutes and pass out. Otherwise this'll go badly.
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
Randomize
