I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
Did you get drunk between now and two texts ago?
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
Randomize
