I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
I think I just sharted jello shots
Randomize
