is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
it was like eating out sand paper
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
Rather than admit to myself I've spent $756 at the bar this month, I'm just going to pretend I gave it to a homeless person...kind of makes me feel better.
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
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