Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
my phone vibrated itself into my puke bucket and literally sizzled. you'll have to reach me at this number for a while.
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
Randomize
