my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
I'll wind up on his doorstep with a confused "oh you live here" expression, a feigned ankle injury and a seemingly fortunately placed bottle of tequila. I don't care what it takes: HIS MOUTH WILL BE ON MOUTH.
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
Randomize
