My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
Matt just took me to visit my puke stain from 2 weeks ago at the train station...I'm fucking impressive
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
I asked a lamppost to be my valentine. Also: I'm wearing a sombrero. We need more sombrero in our lives.
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
Randomize
