I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
It's like the blind leading the senile over here.
UPDATE: shit just got real- grandma is threatening to beat grandpa with a wooden spoon covered in chili.
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
Why is there bacon in the couch?
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
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