I got a call from 999 999 9999. I didn't answer it because I was too busy freaking out about the number.
It was probably Jesus.
I feel like he would have left a message.
I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
Randomize
