the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
I heard drunk is the new sober. I heard me say that. To a cop. Can you come get me??
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
Randomize
