All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
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