Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
Can you come over?
Sex??
Sure but there’s also a squirrel in my garage I need you to take care of.
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
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