I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
Will you please bring your dog over today? Apparently I was drunkenly cooking last night. There's food everywhere. I'm too hungover to clean.
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
Randomize
