Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
Ever the responsible adult, I just realized that today is the Obamacare deadline, but I'm too high to handle insurance now.
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
