well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
I hear the sound of that stray bird you rescued from the kitchen but am too busy drunkenly masturbating to feed it
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
Randomize
