So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
No don't worry! What are obnoxious, alcoholic, slut roommates for if not for uplifting words and tales of my folly?!
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
We need to borrow someone's dog. Just so we can non-creepily go to PetSmart and watch all the other dogs take photos with Santa
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
Randomize
