see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
Hey, so I'm not coming into work til Friday. Some guy I've known for about 8 hours just offered me a free vacation to Maui and bought my plane ticket. He's Aussie so I'm 75% sure he won't murder me
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
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