But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
Thank you for deleting me from Instagram. Also, I'm carrying your child. Happy new year!
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone’s dad. You’re also like a second dad to me as well. And one who I send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
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