apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
i woke up this morning cuddling with a 3 foot statue of Jesus. heaven here i come
So some guy at the party is convinced I'm Edward Cullen. He keeps calling me "Twilight" and following me around with a stake. I'm concerned.
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
Randomize
