this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
The only thing I've had to eat today was the half eaten sausage biscuit I found on my chest when I woke up this morning.
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
We're using joints as your birthday candles
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
I said "I am wrapped in the Cocoon Of Comfort! You should go." He started to argue and I yelled "COCOON OF COMFORT!!!" silencing him
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
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