need another drink. this is the easiest way
why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
I just recycled a years worth of liquor bottles. I can feel my alcoholic carbon footprint shrinking
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
I was like, booze is the closest thing I have to a father. Don't pour daddy down the sink
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
Randomize
