bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
Met the five year old's gym teacher for next year. He is an old drinking buddy and I used to fuck his older brother. It was like a walk of shame 20 years late.
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
Randomize
