We played Rock, Paper, Scissors last night to see who was the least drunk to drive.
The Rock won.
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
I miss vodka workout Fridays
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
Randomize
