Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
I’m at the Eye doc, sitting in the waiting room. The woman next to me is highlighting passages in her bible. I’m watching pornhub on mute. I clearly need some penis, or Jesus.
Randomize
